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Author Topic: best method for HER pleasure? (looking for the most fail-safe)  (Read 7186 times)
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« on: August 07, 2008, 07:07:31 PM »

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Anonymous
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  Date Posted: 06/03/2005 1:50 PM           
 

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Hello, iv been using PC flexing to prevent ejaculation with my girl friend, and it usualy all works out ok, but every once in a while i get a bit distracted and forget or get too excited and cant hold it in.  Iv browsed these forums quite a bit, and most of the posts here seem to be more concerned with the male pleasure, rather then the female (i supose most guys use these methods when masturbaiting a lot).  so i'm looking for the most fail safe method of prolonging sex and preventing ejaculation until im ready, somthing that when practiced and prefected, i can use with a women and feel confident that it will not fail.

also i am 19 and in good health, no conditions and a healthy sex drive.

thanks

 
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romeo
 
 
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  Date Posted: 06/03/2005 5:05 PM             
 

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Hi,

All I can say is that lasting hours is not a problem for guys who are into MMO. Personally no effort is needed.

 
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PanDragon
 
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  Date Posted: 06/03/2005 7:40 PM               
 

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  Hey Anonymous,

  I think the reason why the posts here are focused on male pleasure, is not only because MMO is often most easily learned and perfected through masturbation, but also because many of us have come to realize that learning to enhance and expand our own experience of pleasure and orgasm allows us to enjoy and share more pleasure with our partners without feeling the urge to ejaculate. The more pleasure you can give yourself, the more you can recieve from your partner. And the more pleasure you can recieve from your partner, the more you can share with her in return. It creates a positive feedback loop which you both can enjoy together, and it works far better than trying to "hold back."

   It's a common misconception that "male pleasure" and "female pleasure" are mutually exclusive during sexual intimacy. The old concept of "first we'll do your thing, and then we'll do mine" may help each person reach satisfaction as an individual, but only at the cost of sharing pleasure simultaneously as a couple. The idea of "taking turns" in bed is more like mutual masturbation than a truly intimate sexual connection between two lovers.

  You described your experience as sometimes becoming "distracted" from your PC squeezes, resulting in accidental ejaculation. I would actually describe the PC squeezes as the distraction from what you should feel free to focus on -  the pleasure. The pleasure in your body, as well as hers, and most importantly, the feelings of pleasure you both can share together.

  In my experience, it's very difficult to do this while using the PC method. It's like trying to juggle with one hand and give a massage with the other. One act or the other, and usually both will suffer from your divided attention. So the best way to give more pleasure is to learn how to receive more pleasure. Because at the heart of giving and recieving is sharing, and sharing pleasure is what sex should be all about.

  The best way to learn to share pleasure with a partner is by learning to allow yourself to feel as much pleasure (and orgasms) as you desire without "holding back" in any way or trying to control your ejaculation. Once you are able to do this, you can truly relax and be present with your partner, with no distractions, no matter much pleasure you feel, and still continue making love for as long as you both desire.

  I realize that sounds a little hard to believe or maybe even impossible. But I've been doing it for years and it's actually a lot easier than you might think. It's certainly easier than the PC method, and a lot more fun! The trick is learning to respond to the pleasure you feel in a new way, which allows your body to bypass the urge to ejaculate. Rather than trying to fight your own natural urges by "holding back," it's a way of evading the urge to ejaculate altogether, while still enjoying every feeling to it's fullest. The way I learned this is a method called, KSMO or Key Sound Multiple Orgasm. You can check it out here: www.multiples.com.

  Anyway, the point to remember is that while it may feel like a great accomplishment to control your ejaculation (and it is), there's more to guiding your partner to deeper pleasures and sexual ecstasy than just "fucking" for a long time. Almost any guy can learn to last longer in bed, but learning how to expand your own orgasmic pleasure and share that with your lover, that is truly erotic for most women. Almost any guy can learn to send a woman into multiple orgasms, but to be able to go with her into those states of ecstasy, to share the experience together, knowing you are both feeling the same pleasures at once, THAT is true satisfaction for both lovers.

  Because you can only share what you yourself can feel, the path to all this begins with you and your body.

  : - )
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